The families who navigate their parents’ aging most successfully share one thing in common: they started before the crisis.
1. Have the healthcare conversation
Does your parent have an advance directive? Do you know their wishes for resuscitation, mechanical ventilation, and end-of-life interventions?
2. Establish healthcare power of attorney
A healthcare pOA designates who can make medical decisions if your parent cannot. Without one, hospitals default to a hierarchy that may not reflect your family’s structure or your parent’s wishes.
3. Establish financial power of attorney
A financial pOA designates who can manage bank accounts and make financial decisions if your parent is incapacitated. Without one, families face court-supervised conservatorship proceedings.
4. Know where the documents are
Wills, insurance policies, Social Security card, Medicare and Medi-Cal cards, investment accounts, property deeds, military discharge papers. Know where they are and make copies.
5. Understand what coverage exists
Does your parent have long-term care insurance? VA benefits? What are their Medicare and Medi-Cal statuses?
6. Have an honest conversation about finances
Know roughly what income they have, what assets, what bills they’re managing.
7. Assess the home now
Walk through it with fresh eyes. What modifications would be needed if mobility became more limited? Where are the fall hazards?
8. Talk about driving
What’s the plan when your parent can no longer drive safely? What transportation alternatives exist?
9. Know their medical team
Who is the primary care physician? Do you have their contact information? Can you communicate with them if needed?
10. Understand their medication list
Keep a current, written list of all medications with dosages and prescribers. Take a photo and keep it on your phone.
11. Explore care options before you need them
Research local home care agencies. Understand what CalAIM and Medi-Cal might cover. Know what options exist for different levels of need.
12. Talk to your parent about their wishes
What do they want their daily life to look like? What matters to them? What are they afraid of?
Care partners offers free consultations that can help you think through care planning and understand your options before you’re under pressure.